Ouch!

Hello readers, for this blog I have chosen to be sober, well fed and semi naked. You know, just to be different.


Glove Love

Today whilst driving home from the parking monstrosity that is Eastland, I observed an elderly ‘lady’ (when they start to wrinkle like a Sharpei dog, they can hardly be labeled ‘girls’ now can they?) driving in a beige Volvo to my left.
I noticed with alarm that said elderly lady was wearing Michael Jackson-esque gloves. [Oh come on Flora dear, your hands can’t be that delicate?! Plus you look quite the freak, and tell me they don’t cause your hands to slip on the steering wheel]

My lord – have I discovered the reason why the elderly represent a sizable amount of road trauma statistics – It’s the gloves, the gloves I tell ya!


Burn Baby Burn

On the weekend Gav, O’Man and I joined some of Gav’s friends for a Christmas party at a park venue where the UV rays were far too penetrable (*sniggers*) for my liking. Being the sun-smart girl that I am, I asked the boy to place some sun cream on my back. I thought this was quite a simple task and to help highlight the simplicity I have included the following visuals (be sure to take note of the 'perplexing' captions):

BACK!!!

FRONT!!!

Now as hard as this whole 'front-back' concept is to grasp, I awoke on Monday morning finding it rather difficult to lie comfortably. It should be obvious why, but I'll use another visual for those of you a bit slow on the uptake:

The red areas represent the delicate porcelian skin that was painfully burnt. The boy's explanation was so serious that I found it be comical. It involved the words "it is not in my scope" and blame was laid solely on your truly, however based on the above pictures and captions (the complexity of which is quite astounding) I do believe it was my BACK that was burnt. Verbal contracts prior to the creaming involved the acceptance of my appeal for the boy to put cream on my "BACK". Therefore I find him guilty guilty guilty! (*)

To his credit, he came in and applied aloe vera gel to my tender (shoulder) areas. I was very touched, but upon reflection considered this to be him conceding defeat.

I have learnt from the experience and will never let him apply any form of tan/sun cream again. I'll just ask his 4 year old son - he'll probably do a better job.

(*) And hot hot hot! - love you baby!!!!!!!!!