Me? Old?

Last week I was at the petrol station, crying and I filled up my seventy litre tank with petrol when I noticed that the car opposite me had a sign on the back. Now the car was 'blokey', and being me I have no idea of the make and model - other than I think it was a dark blue ute. Anyhoo - on the back of the windscreen was a sign: "If its too loud your too old".

Well, I thought, it's not too loud, but that incorrect apostrophe use and spelling error has annoyed me far more!

Moron.....

Ok, so maybe I am an old soul :-)

The farmer may want a wife but I want a life!

Well, it's school holidays and I have spent the first few days with Gav, and the next few doing work (bleh!). But I do have to say that I have a feeling of normality and calm about me at the moment, which makes me think that I am a horrible, grumpy wench throughout the school term.
It really disappoints me that I can see the change in myself and that I’m simply too exhausted to care. Should a job really affect your personality this much? I don’t think I can keep up the pace that I have been going at throughout this semester without something giving, and unfortunately it’s my tolerance of anyone within a 1 metre radius. I’m pretty sure I used to be fairly happy and relaxed and be able to go out past midnight. Now I’m in bed by 9:00pm, asleep by 10:00pm and a fairly stroppy cow when I am actually awake. The plan to marry a millionaire didn’t work out (I’m with someone who makes me feel like the richest woman on the planet, anyway) but sometimes I wish money did grow on trees.

Sigh!

Just when you thought the world was up shit creek with massacres in Tokyo and Burmese people dying unnecessarily, something else blows your mind completely.
I am re-visiting the Big Brother theme, so apologies in advance…..
Kyle Sandi-wanker-lands has signed on as agent to Roberta-f**in-Williams. I mean, seriously! Do we really want to glorify the underworld and all it represents? Money hungry Kyle has signed money hungry Roberta and now we have to face the consequences of this crime against humanity!? Maybe she will have success, like some previous housemates. There might be a CD, in the vein of Sara Marie’s bum dance – Roberta W’s snorting fit. Or succeed like Jemma Gawned’s cosmetics line – Roberta W’s blood stain lipstick with bruise-coloured blush. Maybe, like Tim, she will offer valuable contributions to television discussions such as “I don’t f**kin know nothin’”. The possibilities are truly endless. New Idea and Woman’s Day – let the bidding begin!

Awwwwkwaaaaaaard!

I Don't Think So!

Having watched the recent promos for Big Brother 2008, my skepticism radar is in overdrive.
The ad features Kyle and Jackie O as the new hosts (mistake #1), looking quite smarmy with the tag line: new hosts, same show? I don't think so (mistake # 2)
I am willing to bet (publicly - given the fact that I have about four readers of this blog) that the show is, in fact, going to be fairly much the same as every other year of the torturous crap we've seen. In terms of it being the 'same show', I beg to differ, given that there is a fair chance (based on previous years)that it will feature:

• A buxom young woman who will later go on to 'artistically' pose for Ralph or FHM to 'further their media career'. Or Zoo, if they are complete fame whores with no self respect.
  
• A typical larrikin character who has a nickname like 'Mick-0' or 'Dam-o'. He enjoys surfing and showing off his ripped muscles and greasy blonde hair, but he particularly likes women and attempts to snare one in the house. He later tells the woman he pashes (probably the buxom young woman) that he has a girlfriend on the outside and he never meant to hurt her.
• An older woman who looks 10 years younger than she really is and an older man who acts 10 years younger than he really is.
  
• A host (or hosts, in this case) who infuriate you and make you want to frisbee your dinner through the television so that the scolding hot food hits them and shuts their pie holes to prevent the verbal diarrhea that is assaulting your ears.
  
• At least 8 people who have experienced one, or all, of the following:
• an abusive childhood
• bullying
• an eating disorder
• a 'broken' family
• surgical enhancements

So there you have it - we wait and see if my predictions are correct. In the meantime, for your viewing pleasure, you can see the ad below.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

I watched Look Who's Talking today and cried three times throughout the film. Is it strange to cry through a dramatic, pull on the heart strings kinda fillm? Not all all. But is it strange to cry through (and this is a direct quote from Wikipedia ) "a 1989 comedy film which stars John Travolta (James Ubriacco) and Kirstie Alley (Mollie Jensen)"?

My hormones have been taken over.

P-Plate Parent

Do you ever think you were born to do something?

I’ve been having many light bulb moments lately, which are both exciting and scary at the same time, but I’ll provide context. Today I have had the most brilliant day – it started off with a walk to the park in the rain – Ollie (my partner’s son) looking cute in his Spiderman raincoat and Gav (my partner) looking uncomfortable with his oversized golf umbrella.
I observed, with some amazement, how excited Ollie was with a simple outing in the rain - he jumped in puddles, he ran after birds and he swung on the swing set. It was wonderful, watching how delighted he was. We went and got some movies to watch later and curl up to with a warm doona. And so we watched the Neverending Story. After this we both make a chocolate cake (which I cut up and decorated to look like traffic lights and dominos), with Ollie licking the spoons and beaters and bowl! Whilst the cake was cooking we made and decorated a mothers day card for his Mum, and an ‘I love you’ card for his Dad. At this point he said to me ‘this is the best ever day!’ And you know what, I completely agree with him. He was engaged, entertained and having an absolute ball – and so was I! This brings me to my original point - that I was born to be a mum. Strange, at 23 years old, to think so, but I really believe it. That said, I probably won’t have enough money to actually have a child for a while, but at least I know I’ve got it in me to do it.

If there was a license for having children, I’d definitely be on my Ps.